


Effects of pain

by xforesttree



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Madness, Multiple identities, Schizophrenia, ghoul or human, kaneki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-08-15 08:44:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8049772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xforesttree/pseuds/xforesttree
Summary: Kaneki Ken, who are you really? What are you?





	Effects of pain

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place just before the second siege of Cochlea

_Once upon a time, the white reaper killed a ghoul  
He destroyed his brain and wrecked his soul_

_The ghoul then was tamed, lost for his memory  
With a new name came a new identity_

_With coffee he could conquer the world, Haise  
But to protect the Q's he paid a price_

_He faced the one-eyed Queen  
Certainly something to be seen_

_Hair dark as night, soul a void of black  
The two reapers, back to back_

I must say that I like this version of you, you'll take me back, won't you? Be the monster you truly are, give in to the instincts...

The voices never quite shut up. I hardly sleep, I'd starve himself if only it wouldn't make me lose control. There are no clear memories of these other parts of me, but it seems there's no escaping them. Who am I? What am I? What is right and what is wrong? Who is the enemy here? I can never quite find the answers.

_"Please, you must stop this. Think of all the people we've hurt, the innocents..."_

They were ghouls, ghouls have no place in this world.

_"You are a ghoul."_

I have no place in this world.

"Kaneki, you must remember."

 

That name again, it brings flashes of events too fast to see. In my former life I must have suffered a lot, there is so much pain. There is much pain now, it reminds me I'm not dead yet.

 _If we don't want anything taken from us we've no choice but to take from others. That's how the world works._ I've lost everything before, I have no intention of letting that happen again. I lacked strength, so I cast my values aside to become strong. _All the injustice in this world is the result of one's lack of ability._

Everyone seems to know who they are and they make me play their game, I have no intention of following their rules if it means betraying who I am again.

~~I am a human~~  
~~I am a ghoul~~  
~~I am a ghoul inspector~~  
~~I am the one-eyed king~~  
~~I am Ken Kaneki~~  
~~I am Sasaki Haise~~

I don't belong anywhere, I don't deserve anyone. I always seem to abandon those I care about. I lie and cheat, I hurt people and for what? To make them suffer my sorrows, what's the point? _If someone were to write a story on my life it would be... a tragedy_

**Author's Note:**

> As you can tell I've read the manga... What will it take for poor Kaneki to be happy? Will he ever reunite with Anteiku? What pain will Ishida-sensei give us next? I haven't a clue, but I know that we haven't heard the last of V yet


End file.
